Dearest Karina,
how are you?
I keep reading your last email, it really give me joy to read about your life and sometimes I imagine myself near you, doing the simple like task together with you.
Today I want to tell you more about my life, my job and my lifestyle; I do know that money and stuff are not the most important things when there is love but at the same time we are not children anymore so, in some way, also money are a little bit important so, I'm going to tell you everything and how I will imagine our life together, at least at the start.
As you already know I'm not rich and if I must say the truth I'm happy about it ... if I was rich I never would know if someone will love me for how I am or for my money and other than that ... I would probably be way more superficial ... in some way I think that money are like a curse (and this is why there are really few rich people with a happy family ... they always get divorced and they do not grow their own child because they are too busy to make money).
I earn 1000£ a month (more or less) and 220£ goes in the rent of my house; as you know I live with other 2 men and 1 girl (girlfriend of 1 of this men) and if you agree, at the start, I would like to keep living here all together, we'll be like a big family :) This will allow us to have some few more money till you will not find a job here (a flat just for us will cost around 400 that's almost the double).
With all the bills I do spend around 400£ (so the rent, electricity, internet, gas and so on), 150£ for the food and another 150£ to go to restaurant with friends sometimes or just outside with them to have a drink; that's so a total of 700£ a month.
The other 300£ (and some more) it'll be just for you when you will be here with me; as you can see it's not much (well not few also) and I'm sure that with some sacrifice we will be able to do everything (hoping that you will find soon a job, I hope you will not need more than 6 months to learn the language and find a job you like).
The only thing I can guarantee is that you will always have a nice house, hot in the winter and cold in the summer (well, in Belfast it's always cold so...), good food and dress...maybe we can't buy the new dress from Armani or maybe we will need to wait for sales but we will be fine; I can promise that I'll always massage you when you'll be tired and I'll always cook for you if you will be sick but I can't promise you that we will travel around the world and see the most expensive place (also if I would like to see the Hawaii at least one time).
One or two weekend every year we can also go somewhere, maybe in Paris or Prague, I think it's quite romantic city (but I never been there) and we can have few holidays too, maybe to go back to Russia to meet your parents that I'm sure you will miss a lot.
Maybe I can buy them a little computer with the webcam so, when I'm at work, you can be in Skype with them (well also when I am not at work, just, as you wish) and if we will see that the money will not be enough I'll just wait you in Belfast and use the money to let you go alone to meet your parents (also if you know that I'm quite jealous so...I do not like too much the idea of my wife travelling alone but if it's just for the beginning and because we will not have enough money...if it's to meet your parents than it's ok, you can go I'll not give you problems ...not too much at least :P ).
I just want your happiness and I hope you want mine and so I know how important are your parents for you so, it's not a problem I'll do the impossible to make you happy ... and maybe it'll not be possible, not always at least, but I hope you'll be happy just thinking that I'm doing my best to always keep your beautiful smile on your face.
It's already few months that we write to each other and feelings are growing faster than I thought so I think that it's time for you to start to think seriously about our life together ... there will be many problems, I already knew but maybe you wasn't completely thinking about it; there will be some language barrier, you will miss your parents and friends (Skype will help a little bit but anyway...) and I do understand that this change of life can be scarry a little but I will never let you down and I'll be always here for you ... but you have to think about this things because I do not want that we will get married and after few motnhs you will understand that for you it's too hard to be far from your actual life.
In my idea you will need 6 months to learn well English and another 6 months you can spend finding a job you like but after this time you than will need to accept any job that will come (waiter maybe, or housekeeper) but I'll help you to find a nice job and anyway, if it's needed to be a waiter, we will keep looking toegether for a better job and than you can change it when you will find.
That's it, all for today, I hope I didn't scare you too much and I would love to say that love will be enough for everything but sadly like is not so romantic as I am and fairytales doesn't completely exist ... but I'm sure that a life with you near me will be a fairy tale, the most beautiful one!
If there is love we will always find a solution, in a way or in another.
Waiting your answer I'm wishing you a wonderfull day, full of happiness.
With feelings Ben.
The letter is published with Ben's permission.
how are you?
I keep reading your last email, it really give me joy to read about your life and sometimes I imagine myself near you, doing the simple like task together with you.
Today I want to tell you more about my life, my job and my lifestyle; I do know that money and stuff are not the most important things when there is love but at the same time we are not children anymore so, in some way, also money are a little bit important so, I'm going to tell you everything and how I will imagine our life together, at least at the start.
As you already know I'm not rich and if I must say the truth I'm happy about it ... if I was rich I never would know if someone will love me for how I am or for my money and other than that ... I would probably be way more superficial ... in some way I think that money are like a curse (and this is why there are really few rich people with a happy family ... they always get divorced and they do not grow their own child because they are too busy to make money).
I earn 1000£ a month (more or less) and 220£ goes in the rent of my house; as you know I live with other 2 men and 1 girl (girlfriend of 1 of this men) and if you agree, at the start, I would like to keep living here all together, we'll be like a big family :) This will allow us to have some few more money till you will not find a job here (a flat just for us will cost around 400 that's almost the double).
With all the bills I do spend around 400£ (so the rent, electricity, internet, gas and so on), 150£ for the food and another 150£ to go to restaurant with friends sometimes or just outside with them to have a drink; that's so a total of 700£ a month.
The other 300£ (and some more) it'll be just for you when you will be here with me; as you can see it's not much (well not few also) and I'm sure that with some sacrifice we will be able to do everything (hoping that you will find soon a job, I hope you will not need more than 6 months to learn the language and find a job you like).
The only thing I can guarantee is that you will always have a nice house, hot in the winter and cold in the summer (well, in Belfast it's always cold so...), good food and dress...maybe we can't buy the new dress from Armani or maybe we will need to wait for sales but we will be fine; I can promise that I'll always massage you when you'll be tired and I'll always cook for you if you will be sick but I can't promise you that we will travel around the world and see the most expensive place (also if I would like to see the Hawaii at least one time).
One or two weekend every year we can also go somewhere, maybe in Paris or Prague, I think it's quite romantic city (but I never been there) and we can have few holidays too, maybe to go back to Russia to meet your parents that I'm sure you will miss a lot.
Maybe I can buy them a little computer with the webcam so, when I'm at work, you can be in Skype with them (well also when I am not at work, just, as you wish) and if we will see that the money will not be enough I'll just wait you in Belfast and use the money to let you go alone to meet your parents (also if you know that I'm quite jealous so...I do not like too much the idea of my wife travelling alone but if it's just for the beginning and because we will not have enough money...if it's to meet your parents than it's ok, you can go I'll not give you problems ...not too much at least :P ).
I just want your happiness and I hope you want mine and so I know how important are your parents for you so, it's not a problem I'll do the impossible to make you happy ... and maybe it'll not be possible, not always at least, but I hope you'll be happy just thinking that I'm doing my best to always keep your beautiful smile on your face.
It's already few months that we write to each other and feelings are growing faster than I thought so I think that it's time for you to start to think seriously about our life together ... there will be many problems, I already knew but maybe you wasn't completely thinking about it; there will be some language barrier, you will miss your parents and friends (Skype will help a little bit but anyway...) and I do understand that this change of life can be scarry a little but I will never let you down and I'll be always here for you ... but you have to think about this things because I do not want that we will get married and after few motnhs you will understand that for you it's too hard to be far from your actual life.
In my idea you will need 6 months to learn well English and another 6 months you can spend finding a job you like but after this time you than will need to accept any job that will come (waiter maybe, or housekeeper) but I'll help you to find a nice job and anyway, if it's needed to be a waiter, we will keep looking toegether for a better job and than you can change it when you will find.
That's it, all for today, I hope I didn't scare you too much and I would love to say that love will be enough for everything but sadly like is not so romantic as I am and fairytales doesn't completely exist ... but I'm sure that a life with you near me will be a fairy tale, the most beautiful one!
If there is love we will always find a solution, in a way or in another.
Waiting your answer I'm wishing you a wonderfull day, full of happiness.
With feelings Ben.
The letter is published with Ben's permission.
