Going for a vacation with a Russian woman.

Very often after a first meeting a man offers a woman to meet again on a neutral territory. For example, if a man is from Australia or New Zealand and a woman is from Russia, it might be convenient to spend a vacation together in Thailand. Normally a man would take care of all the expenses, including those of a woman he wants to meet. It’s not because Russian women want to travel as somebody else’s expense and then pay off with their bodies. These kinds of girls exist too, but we are not talking about prostitutes here. We are discussing normal women who seek to create a family, who get a regular Russian salary, which is not enough to visit even Crimea, let alone Thailand! Most of these women have never been abroad. Some of them have traveled to Turkey or Egypt which are the most affordable places to go if you live in Russia. Men know all this and are happy to cover the travel expenses. However, there are cases when these journeys turn into nightmarish experiences for women. Thankfully, these cases are very rare.
This is another real life story. Please read this article if you are going to invite a Russian girl for a vacation abroad.

A man meets a woman, and a relationship starts. He offers to have their first meeting in Thailand. She cannot afford this because her entire salary is used to support her kids. Moreover, she’s already used her vacation time this year, and her next vacation is eight months from now, so she can miss work only at her own expense. This is unacceptable for her because she doesn’t want to lose money. If she takes a vacation, she’ll receive only one fifth of her regular salary once she is back to work. Her salary is composed mainly from the percent of the sales she makes.
The woman explains all this and invites the man to come to Russia instead, but he states that he is ready to pay for all the expenses, including whatever money she is going to lose while missing work. The woman agrees and for the first time in her life travels abroad. She is taking her credit card with her.

Three days later this woman contacts me in Skype, and, crying, says that she is always hungry because the food in the restaurants where they eat is served raw. Yes, people eat raw food in Thailand, and Russian people aren’t used to that. The woman has to eat whatever is given to her because the man doesn’t take her to the more expensive restaurants where the food is actually cooked. Of course, this is not the end of the world, and by the end of this trip the woman even feels fond of the raw food ))

One day the woman sees some body cream in the store and pays for it with her credit card. Right after that the card gets blocked by the bank. She didn’t know that she had to go to the bank and get a special permission to use the card abroad. As a result, she is now out of money. During the vacation she comes across various souvenirs and little things that she likes, but she cannot buy anything anymore. The man doesn’t even think of buying one or two inexpensive things for her, but it’s fine. He doesn’t really have to do that, right? She can survive without them.
But these little things are nothing in comparison to what she feels like when he insults her. She is young and beautiful, she attracts people’s attention, and now and then men ask if she is his wife. The man repeatedly answers right in front of her, not feeling a bit of shame, “Oh, no, of course not! My wife is in New Zealand. This is my Russian girlfriend!”

And this is done by a potential husband who is supposed to be looking for a Russian wife! The woman realizes that she is being used like a pretty toy. The man is flattered to be escorted by a young, beautiful, smart girl, and he enjoys seeing the envy in other men’s eyes! To feed his ego, he is ready to pay for the plane tickets and restaurants with raw food for the woman. It’ O.K. because he is rich enough, he can afford it.
After the vacation, the man walks the woman to the airport and says his good bye.
Arriving to Moscow, the woman calls me and tells me that she has no money to get home to Belgorod because her credit card is blocked. The man knew that but decided to ignore the fact, and the woman didn’t ask him for the money. There’s no need to mention that he never compensated her salary losses.

Dear men! If you invite a woman to spend some time abroad and say that you’ll take care of all the expenses, please, make sure that the woman has the means to get back home, that she can buy a plane ticket HOME, not just to Moscow from where she’ll have to take another plane or a train.
And, most importantly, if you call yourselves men, be them and behave like gentlemen. Don’t insult women even if you are only playing being serious, but in reality plan to just have a good time with a beautiful woman. A true gentleman would never act like this anyway; he wouldn’t use a girl who is looking for a husband and a family. There are other kinds of girls to use for mere entertainment, and you can find lots of them in the Internet. So, what is the problem?

Why do Russian women marry so early?

I asked one of my foreign clients what kind of articles he would like to read on my blog. He bombarded me with questions, and one of them was the following: Why do Russian women get married and have kids so young? He faced this issue while he was looking for a Russian wife. All the girls he would choose were either divorced or single mothers. 

The case is that it is traditional for a Russian woman to marry early. It has become a custom and is now a part of the Russian culture. There is a widespread stereotype that if a 24-25 year old girl is unmarried, she’s considered an old maid. However strange it may sound, but psychologically, Russian girls would feel better married and divorced than never married.

One of my “never married” acquaintances, a 31 year old woman who for some personal reasons refuses to use dating sites and agencies to find a husband, has admitted to me that it is very difficult for her to attend family celebrations and reunions. She cannot stand pitying glances and questions from her relatives about when she’ll finally get married.

For the most part, Russian women get married while attending a college or a university, when they are 18-20 years old. It’s easier to find a husband at school; very often they marry their classmates. Being children themselves, they form families and start having kids. The reasonable question to ask is how these young families support themselves if both parents are still unemployed students.

The answer is simple: they survive thanks to their parents. In Russia, parents help their children as long as they have the strength and the means to do so. This is also a Russian tradition. For example, my 80 year old neighbor is using his money to build a cottage for his good-for-nothing 55 year old son.

This is why young people don’t really bother to think about how their young family will manage, especially if they come from a well-to-do family. In this case, the wedding will be paid by the parents who will also give the young ones an apartment and a car. They will also pay for the university and take care of all the general expenses of the newlyweds.

But not all parents are capable of providing their children with such luxurious lifestyle. In poorer families, children live with their parents, staying in one of the rooms. If there is no extra room for them, they rent an apartment and start working part time while going to school, and their parents help them out as much as they can.

The Russian belief in “on the off chance” also plays a significant role in this. Young people don’t think seriously about contraception, hoping they’ll be lucky not to get pregnant, but of course the pregnancy does happen, and they have to marry, but these kinds of marriages eventually fall apart.

In the resent years the situation has started to change. Young people are not in a hurry to get married and take on all the burdens of the family life. They want to get an education, find jobs, and get a desired career. They save money to buy cars and houses, they date, but… they don’t marry, which also becomes a problem for women. Since young guys are not in a hurry to get married, women simply don’t have anyone to marry! It has become a saying that if you don’t find a husband while attending a university, you’ll never get married. ))

The times of the Soviet Union have passed. Back then students would have guaranteed stable jobs once they were done with school. The government would provide them with apartments, so it was much easier to start a family. Today it’s not easy for young men because they are the ones who have to provide for the family. That’s why they don’t rush to marry.

Because of all this girls try to marry as soon as possible, and, taking into consideration the divorce rate, later become divorced single mothers.